Top 10 WTF moments in my English class

Here are my Top 10- WTF moments in my English class:

2nd grader shot taken by my Blackberry

2nd grader shot taken by my Blackberry

Oh yeah, if you ever get the opportunity to travel, you’ll soon understand that the language barrier can produce some pretty hilarious jokes. My Korean students say and DO the darndest things and that goes for every child learning any foreign language. I wish I had Bill Cosby refereeing the cultural affair, he’d certainly get a chuckle at the perceived notion of “obedient Korean children.” That was certainly my expectations, especially after watching some old videos of capital punishment.  Nowadays though, times have obviously changed.

In my first year of teaching, I’ll have to admit…malignant students is a world-wide disease, seeking to infest your sanity, the very remnant of that sanity that’s left is on a string of blurred reality. Yes, at times, you’ll have to catch yourself from falling to the wrath of what I call, “the little termites.” They’ve gotten used to my dreadlocks and skin color and now they attack me in the hallways, pull my locks, and offer oranges at the same time. I love them!

All in all, my students are amazing. I’ve accomplished a passive-aggressive discipline system(shotgun or no shotgun) and it’s working just fine. lol I take pride in teaching them and one of the greatest feelings on earth is when a teacher sees the impact he or she has made.

————Here is a quick list of some of the exchanges/experiences that I’ve encountered thus far. (beginning of a series)

1. Recently, I showed my students a hilarious video called, “Never say no to Panda. After the video, one of my male students said to me,  “선생님’ (seon-saeng-nim- which means Teacher) do you like Panda coochie?  Me: “um…WHAT?” Student: “do…you…like…Panda…coochie?” Me: (wtf) “um…no, I do not like Panda, um…coochie.” Student: “ok” (I later found out that coochie rhymes with a type of Korean food. He just wanted to add  the word Panda to it)

2. First day in class, I was a victim of “dong chim” (translation “poop needle”) where a Korean student would clasp his or her hands together so the index fingers pointing out. Then, those little termites would unsuspectingly stick you in your ass. Yo, I’m a grown ass man (no pun intended) and I don’t deserve to get molested on the first day of school. lol (Japanese call it Kancho)

3.I teach in a rural area, so for many of my students, it was their first time seeing a black person. One of my students went up to me and aggressively rubbed my skin and said, “why teacher…huh, why?”  ( I almost cried in laughter)

4. Student: “teacher,…ah, wash hair?” Teacher: “yes, very often.” Student: “teacher, you face…wash?” Teacher: “no, NEVER.  Student: “huh?”

5.  (my 5th grade class) Teacher: “good job everyone, see you next time.” Student: “ok teacher, see you neck tie.” Teacher: “no, next time…next time.” Student: “teacher, do you like neck ties?” Teacher: “yo…PLEASE leave, now!” lol (he leaves laughing his butt off)

6. Teacher: “What’s your favorite food.” Student: “my favorite food is favorite food.” Teacher: “I’m sorry, no…you have to choose one.” Student: “I like favorite foods, please.” Teacher: “No, what is your favorite food. Kimchi? Gimbap? Pizza? Student: “ahh..ok, yes, food is my favorite.” Teacher: “ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..

7.  Look closely at the picture above, the kid in the background looks suspicious, right? He definitely looks like the suspect. He ran over and poured the juice in his white cup on top of the other kids head. lmfao

8. Teacher: do you know Michael Jackson: Student (does cutting the throat action) “yes, he’s dead!” Teacher: “uhhhh, yeah,…ok!

9. Student:  “seon-saeng-nim (Teacher) do you like men?” Teacher: (mental thought: wtf) “no, I like…women.” Student: “teacher, why?” Teacher: (confused) “uhh, I don’t know. ok, termites, time to begin class” Student: “but…but… Teacher: “hey, quiet”

10. Student: ( in Korean) “teacher, how do you go home everyday?” Co-teacher: (crying in laughter, translates) “he lives here” Student: “but, I thought he was from USA” Co-teacher: “he is, but he lives here. Student: “I don’t understand, either you’re not from the USA or you are from the USA.” Co-teacher: “yes, but the flight is 15 hours long” Student: “ohh…so, you’re Korean now? Yayyyy!”

This definitely cracks the Top 10, but…I couldn’t explain it better than this video can. (my students were watching an amazing Jack o Lantern slide show when this happened…

Random note: during the 2010 Fifa World Cup, I played a video that showed the huge amount of countries involved. I asked them, what language (lingua franca) is being used to communicate amongst the people attending and organizers.  Surprisingly, an overwhelmingly amount of my kids said Spanish or Korean.  A few answered (with obvious expressions) English. So yeah…nationalism is deep!

  1 comment for “Top 10 WTF moments in my English class

  1. Julia Jackson
    November 6, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    I've got one for you. In one of my classes we were talking about families. Specifically, parents first names and last names. Well as you already know my last name is Jackson and it just so happens that my fathers first name is Micheal. Everything is going well, until I get asked the name of my father. I tell them. "Teacher, your father is Micheal Jackson… REALLYYY?" followed by hysterical laughter. "Your father Micheal Jackson is dead, I'm sorry." Laughter again. Me, "No, no my father is Micheal Jackson the person, not the singer. Ok, ok understand now?" Then they proceeded to tell every other class that my father is Micheal Jackson and I got asked about it repeatedly for the remainder of the week.

    One more, although this one is not about Micheal Jackson…

    Student looking at my roll book, "Teacher, Mark is very bad. He is has no friends. Nobody likes him."

    Me, "Why is that?"

    "Teacher, do youuuuu like him?"

    lmao…. me laughing "No, no I do not." I couldn't even lie.

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